


How to Achieve Your Goals, Make Friends, and then Cum on Their Faces

by DiMA (Holy_Leonards)



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Advice, Birth Control, Crack, How-to, M/M, Virginity, Wire Play, a real book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:27:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/DiMA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Invasion of Privacy" - Faraday</p><p>"Sexy and useful" - Nate RichardNixon Serling</p><p>"I can't believe I had a brother!" - Nick Valentine</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Robot Virginity

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my sexy brother. Love ya, Bitch. 
> 
> Also, extra special thanks to Nick's boyfriend, Nate. And Nate's other boyfriend, Danse. Without those two, I would have never heard of 'postmature ejaculations' and how surprisingly common they are amongst Gen 3 synth men. 
> 
> P.S. Faraday never had that problem lol.

What is virginity? According to ancient writings, a virgin is a being who has yet to engage in sexual intercourse (Planned Parenthood, Retrieved Using the Wayback Machine, 2282). It's a complex subject, as even organic beings lack a universal definitions for sex (Lol, 2287).

When computer-based life forms come into play, the complexity does not get any better. There is great diversity in body types (trash bin, person, sexy nipple pincher, floating orb); Because of this, there is inherently a huge variety of genitals – or lack thereof (My Sex Life, 2187 – Forever)

As I am unable to give you a single definition of virginity loss, I will substitute it with my own experience. [Faraday hated that (Faraday, 2287).]

I was wearing my favorite pair of duct tape pants, which was a trend several centuries ago (Youtube, 2287). They were good, fashionable pants. That day, they had gotten stuck to my chair.

Faraday's ears are keen, especially when it comes to my shiny, metal ass. When he had not heard my butt lift off of the chair at its scheduled time, he became concerned.

“My dearest Faraday,” I had told him. “I appear to need help getting out of my pants.”

Faraday cut the offending tape using scissors. To this day, he still keeps scissors nearby at all times.

There I was, half naked, sitting down. Legs spread, knees on either side of Faraday's head.

Faraday took my big dick in his mouth. It was pure pleasure! I did not know that I could feel such warmth from a human while being a botty bot! It soon worked into what would be, I would assume, the average way a robot would lose its virginity, anal sex. Yes, he plunged in full force. Not to say that it was bad. Oh no, it was fantastic! I recommend it 10/10 (Faraday && DiMA, Forever – kthxbai).

 


	2. Birth Control Patches

Birth control, everyone uses it. Even the virginal and the ugly have reason to. But too few know that robots need it too. Yes, even your local Fisto requires something to keep those parasitic wallet leaches at bay (Shaun, 2285)

While robotic birth control serves an identical purpose to human birth control, it comes in dramatically different forms. The most popular forms are hammers, and the patch.

Hammers are simple to use, and can be found absolutely everywhere (Far Harbor, Looking Around, 2287). To use the hammer technique, one simply firmly grasps the tool, and bangs it against their crotch until dented. While effective, it is not a permanent solution. You will have to do this each time you engage in sexual relations (Faraday, 2282).

The Birth Control Patch is a little more complicated. It is unlike Nicotine patches, which are applied to the skin. These patches are pieces of software designed to update a program – or its supporting data – to fix or improve it (Wikipedia, Retrieved using the Wayback Machine, 2287). The Patch requires another person to install it. Do not try to install it on your own person (Faraday, 2286).

I, personally, have tried both methods of birth control. While they both have preformed their primary function – as I have yet to become pregnant – I feel the Patch is greatly superior to the Hammer, due to its long-lasting effects and the lack dick-agony after use (DiMA, 2286).

Robot birth control is controversial. Many believe it to be superfluous. Those who share this mentality tend to be major bitches (Nate, 2287).

 


	3. Wire Play

Wire Play is a harmless, common fetish that only sometimes results in death (Valentine, 2287). It falls under the category of roBot/D/S/M.

Wire Play involves consensually opening General Atomics robot, or a Synth (Model 2.5 or older), and fondling their wires for sexual stimulation (Note: Do not, by any means, attempt this with a gen 3 synth. Bad times are upon if you do). The electrical fondling shoots pleasure thingies to your parts. You know what parts.

Wire Play can be performed by a human or another synth. The electricity flowing through both humans and synths will connect with you through your wires and increase sexual pleasure. Use caution when engaging in this act with humans because they can easily get tangled in the wires and choke themselves (Forgive me, Adam, R.I.P 2264). This may also by performed by a General Atomics Robot, but with significantly less pleasure due to them running on mostly atomic power. It is not recommended to perform Wire Play on a General Atomics robot while having a three way with a human because you could easily puncture their fission batteries and kill the human with radiation (Sorry John, R.I.P 2283).

 


End file.
